Southern Rail Sets New World Record - Over 1,000,000,000 Apologies Issued

by The Editor

Earlier today Southern Rail (Govia Thameslink Railway) became the first U.K. company to issue over a billion apologies in one Month. They also had the great honor of having their refund page - becoming the most visited page in Great Britain for the third month running.

Southern said, "We would like to thank you for your patience during the last strike which has lasted over 14 months. If your journey was not disrupted we urge you to check our compensation and refund page for more information on the enhanced [aka non-existent ] arrangement in place for the strike days. As the strike was suspended, we were able to reinstate the revised timetable for Friday 12 August. Strike compensation is not applicable for Friday 12 August."

More seriously, last Friday, it only took 5 trains to reach London from Hastings; which was a miracle. Usually, it only takes one.